There are many risks associated with horsemanship.  Most of us who love horses recognize and respect the power of these beautiful animals. 

This summer we were transporting horses to our summer carnival.  As we were driving, we had to deal with some ugly behavior in one of our mares.  She was picking on the pony in the trailer.  So we stopped in the middle of the road and rearranged the herd so the pony would safe.  As we hurried back into the trailer, the mare and I jumped into the trailer together and she landed on my right foot.  In spite of the protection of my steel toe boot, I felt the top of the boot cave in and a searing pain course through my toes.  When I returned to my truck and the blood started flowing back into my foot, I knew I was in trouble.  

I didn’t really think a broken toe could cause so much pain.  I was wrong.  One of my great stress relievers in life is working out.  A broken toe meant no running, no kickboxing, and no high heels!  I cried and felt sorry for myself.  Then I got mad.  I could not run but I could pedal.  So my faithful son loaded and unloaded my bike daily and watched over me while I road in circles at the local civic center.  I looked very strange hobbling onto my bike but I was determined to stay in shape until I could run again.

After 20 years in ministry, I can tell you there are many risks associated to loving people.  Most of us who have run the ministry race for some time recognize and respect the power of these beautiful people.  Sometimes in dealing with ugly behavior you find yourself crushed by the pain of a broken relationship or hurtful rejection.   You feel the searing pain; you limp away and wonder if it was mistake to run at all.  You cry and feel sorry for yourself.

I think it’s ok to cry…for a time.  Pour out your heart to God. I find there is a limitless supply of healing grace whenever I scrape a wound.

Psalm 34:18 says, The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.  He wants to care for me.  It requires turning around and embracing my Healer instead of running from Him. My kids cry and pull away when I have to clean out their wounds. So do I.

But there comes a time when He will ask you to run again.  So you begin the process one step at a time.  You limp, and then you walk.  When it hurts to walk, you take the pain back to Him and He reminds you that He is not only Healer, but Restorer, and you can trust Him in spite of that pain. The scar tissue makes the movement awkward and you wonder if you will ever feel ‘normal’ again. 

The biggest obstacle, though, is fear.  Fear of re-injury.   You guard that wounded spot, afraid to force it back into its previous role because it may get hurt again.  Little by little, He gently pushes you to take the risk and put your fear to death until your walking becomes stronger. 

Then one day you feel compelled to run.  You are frightened but you know you were made to run.  His Spirit keeps calling you back into the race.  You were made to feel the pleasure of the race.  So you begin to run.  Suddenly hope comes rushing back into your healing heart.  Maybe it was only a minute, but you ran! 

Those first miles of running after my injury were the sweetest.

There is a pure pleasure realized when you begin to run again after brokenness.  It requires patient persistence, spiritual retraining, and faith in God’s ability to heal your broken heart as you patiently prepare for the day when healing will allow you to run again.  

And it will come, my friend.  And when it does, you may be pleasantly surprised to find that you are no longer the same. You are different. You are able to run stronger and harder than you ever did before…before you were broken.