Last week I was privileged to speak to the women of my church.  We’ve been together for a long time and few things make me prouder than this special group of ladies. They are beautiful testimonies of God’s great grace.

It’s hard to believe that there was a time when I dug my heels in the dirt and told the Lord, “I do NOT like women!” Sad to say, it’s true.  Women have a reputation for being catty, superficial, and high maintenance and I like to live in a drama-free zone. Growing up, boys were easy. You always knew where you stood with them, just punch them and find out.  Girls…not so easy.  The rules changed OFTEN.  Now I understand that not ALL women are like that.  But it only took a few girls from middle-school to make me gun-shy and I walked away.

Unfortunately, God had other ideas. You would think the pastor’s wife would have been involved in ministry to women. But I was in “sister act” mode.  A poser…pretending I liked women, but really refusing to put myself out there. It’s strange because I grew up with a sister who was my best friend.  So what was my problem?

I think it stems from this: women have lost sight of the value of being in a sisterhood.  We have let life and pain make us fearful, jealous, shallow, and judgmental of each other. Girls are striving to impress or outdo each other. Rather than doing life together, we have become competitors and have forgotten the benefits of a real sisterhood.

Consider just a few of those benefits my ladies came up with:

• A sister can be fiercely loyal and will fight to protect her sisters from harm.
• She can confront because she LOVES you.  As one of my great ladies said, “She sees the good, the bad, and the ugly!” but still loves you.
• She can put aside petty differences to do what is best for her FAMILY.
• She can be vulnerable, real, and true to herself and you.

Why wouldn’t everyone want to live with in that kind of relationship? Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, but a brother (or in our case, a sister) was born for adversity.  When God adopts us into His family, we gain a perfect Father.  And He wants us to be part of a FAMILY.  Unfortunately, our siblings don’t have the same standard of perfection.   Just like me, they are wrought with insecurities and scars from being wounded.  They get attitudes. They get scared. And when rejected, they fight.  Somehow, though, God likes the idea of taking these broken people and uniting them into a beautiful family.

So for the past few years, I’ve embarked upon an adventure with God of building a real sisterhood.  It has been an amazing and frightening process that has brought great benefits to me personally as I’ve realized the joys of having spiritual sisters.  At times it is scary because we realize the risk of rejection, jealousy, betrayal, or disappointment. However, we have found that when a woman knows her true identity in Christ, she is free to take those risks.  If she gets wounded, He can heal. If she gets rejected, she reminds herself that He accepts her. Jealousy is not an option, as God has a destiny unique for HER that no one else can fulfill. Disappointment will only draw her closer to Christ for His care. These truths make us a problem for the kingdom of darkness.

Can we put aside our “sister act” for the greater cause of our family: advancing God’s Kingdom and presenting Jesus to people?  Can we, instead, be a real sisterhood where we are:

• Open to outsiders:  We recognize the value of each woman who walks into our church. In the adoption process, things go much smoother if the new member is accepted.
• Committed to each other:  Sisters are loyal and work together to protect each other.  We are learning to cover the value and dignity of each member.
• Authentic in our relationships. Take off the masks and be real. Stop pretending to have it all together. No one really believes that anyway.
• Grace-givers.  Just as our Father has offered grace to us, so we should offer grace to those around us.  Some will be immature, some a bit rough around the edges, but sisters can apply a positive peer pressure for graceful growth in Jesus Christ.

Rather than run out on the sisterhood, maybe there is a better way. Maybe we can positively impact this world TOGETHER.  And just maybe, the benefits of the sisterhood can outweigh the problems. The many sisters I have gained through this journey have made the risk and yes, even occasional rejection, worth it.  I was born to be a daughter of the King. But He also made me to be in a family.  And while I have many friends, sisters…well, REAL sisters, are something very special.