I just spent the most wonderful two hours today with a friend. We laughed, cried, drank way too much coffee, prayed, and yes, opened up to each other by sharing some of our deepest struggles with our kids.
As I reflect upon those special moments, I realize how much we need each other to navigate life. More importantly, I realize how much my life is enhanced and strengthened by those special friendships.
It is rare and refreshing to find a friend who will open up her heart and let me see that she is human. She, too, makes mistakes and occasionally yells at her kids. She, too, says things she wished she wouldn’t have said in that moment of frustration. And yes, she, too, sometimes feels like running away from home! Somehow, though -like me- she finds the power to stay and courage to do what is needed.
It is so easy as mothers –and women, in general– to look at the outside of another woman’s life and feel so very pathetic in comparison. Rather than risk anything or get a closer view of the inside of a person’s life, we move on. Driven by intimidation, fear, or maybe just a simple lack of time, we avoid going deeper in the relationship. Comparison is not productive or the slightest bit helpful. We end up always losing out on something very special.
I raise some very challenging children. There are days when I wish that weren’t the case.
Does it mean I don’t love my children? Absolutely, not. However, sometimes parenting is just plain difficult. It requires a great amount of sacrifice and even more tenacity to do what is best for four VERY different kids. In this special time with my friend, I was able to share my struggles without condemnation or judgment.
Doesn’t everybody need that?
My friend has no “special needs” children. While she couldn’t give me complete understanding, she offered me instead something else. She gave me COMPASSION. Compassion, without any judgment. I don’t need more judgment. I have already tried, convicted, and condemned myself on too many occasions.
Galatians 6:2 is so often quoted, yet, rarely carried out (no pun intended).
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
God knew that we were not only meant to be in a relationship with Him, but we were created to connect and live interdependently with EACH OTHER. There is great power and spiritual strength transferred when we help each other through the difficult seasons. God knows that. It is an empty life when we miss this and don’t allow others into our hearts. There are times in life when you just need a little extra muscle to carry the load given to you. That muscle comes in the form and face of a friend.
And what I needed today was just a little extra help carrying those burdens of life. How many times have you been there, too? Just in need of a little listening grace to admit your failures and know you are not alone in your struggles. Friendship is a worthy investment. It is worth the time it takes to pull back that shallow, superficial ground of relationships, dig deep into the soil, and plant seeds of friendship by sharing our hearts so something beautiful can grow. Don’t waste those moments or opportunities when they are in front of you. And be willing to find them when they are not.
My friend has given me a gift today. Not only the gift of her friendship, but insight into what every heart must have to face the tough times…a great deal of compassion and grace without judgment in the form of a FRIEND. As I rise up, dust myself off, and step back into motherhood and the daily tasks of life, I pray I can do the same for someone else very soon.
But today I felt carried by something very powerful…powerful AND necessary. It was the power of friendship and it is a beautiful thing.