“How old are you again, Mom? 44, 42, 46…?”

She was always someone different, not the face I see daily in the mirror.  It feels very surreal to speak it, let alone put it in writing:  I am a middle-aged woman.

I only answer so they stop before they insult me.  “I am almost 47.”

Their response really doesn’t make me love them more, “Wow, I didn’t realize you were THAT old! You look great!”  So no matter how I feel about it, it is inevitable that I face my reality.

I figure you should benefit from my reality.  So I will write…

What has living for over half of my life really taught me?

So many little things…and so many really important things.  The biggest thing is that I don’t really know as much as I thought I knew. But I’m rambling now.

Here are a few things my middle-age moments have taught me that you might like to know:

• What is really important is in front of you. Hopefully, like me, that translates to people.  Life is really about loving God and loving His people, especially those who were put right in front of you.  Your house is not so important.  Your car depreciates even quicker than your body does (good to hear since there are few things that do.)  Laundry is not even important, unless you have a big event with those people and want to look good.  And ironing covers a multitude of laundry neglect.

• Take care of your body. It is TRULY the only one you get.  You may get a few synthetic parts but for the most part, you get one model and when that is gone, so are you.  Find your ultimate value in Christ because when gravity hits, you’ll be reminded of how temporary that body is.

• Exercise often, eat well, but enjoy chocolate. It was made to be enjoyed.

• Use sunscreen, girls, especially on your neck.  Your neck is the greatest indicator of your age.  (Thank you, Nora Ephron, for that too-late-in-my-life revelation!)

• Being tired means you should sleep. I realize that when we are younger we interpret that to mean “we need more coffee”, but it really means you need to go to bed.  So go to bed and sleep.  Napping is a gift rarely discovered or enjoyed until middle-age.

• Take care of your soul. It is most important because it lasts for eternity.  What are you investing in that lasts forever? Everything else will go to those you leave behind.  But you have the ability to leave a legacy that can change generations.  Don’t waste it.  If you aren’t investing in forever, you’ve missed the most important thing.

• Do fun things often to relieve the stress of living. Live and love in the moment because the moments are gone too quickly.  And for Heaven’s sake and our sake, don’t take yourself so seriously.  No one else does.  Just ask your kids.

• It’s not about WHO is right, but WHAT is right.   If you make that your priority, you will spend less time in conflict and more time enjoying those moments.

• OPD (Other People’s Drama) can and should be avoided.   Really.  You don’t have to go there with them.  You have a choice and usually by middle-age, you are brave enough to make the right choice.

• Hit the curve ball when life doesn’t go according to plan.  And it rarely does, so get your bat ready.  Let go of your expectations, they merely provide a platform for disappointment and despair.  Life isn’t about us.  Find His glory in each moment and you will find the joy.  And it is sometimes only the small glimpses of joy that we need to keep moving.

• Sometimes in order to have peace, you must fight. There is a price to be paid for peace.  Just ask Jesus.  It cost Him everything to secure our peace with God.

• If you want to feel hopeful about humanity, stay out of Walmart.  Enough said.

• Real strength is rarely heard or seen. It is lived out in the obscure and quiet moments when no one else is around to applaud.  Like fame, if you have to proclaim it, you probably don’t have it.

• If you must build a case against someone, you probably don’t have one. Jesus was silent and wrote in the sand around stupid people.  Let your life speak louder than your lips.

• There is a small bit of joy in the fact that you can embarrass your children easily. It keeps them on their toes and hopefully, praying frequently.  Both good things.

• The less you give your opinion, the more people want your opinion. Go figure.  Keep a little behind the shelf, especially in this day of “hang it all out there” social media and fashion.  Mystery is still alluring.

• There may be snow on the rooftop, but there can still be a fire in the fireplace.  The romance continues on quite nicely into middle-age despite the effects of gravity.  Your eyesight fading can be a blessing in disguise and your maturing love lights a fire no youthful lust can muster.

• You may be right about most things; it’s the things you’re wrong about that you need to be careful of. Back to my original point: make sure you’re right about the things you’re wrong about because we don’t know as much as we thought.

• We don’t get to choose when or how pain comes into our lives, but we can choose never to let it be wasted.  There is always something you can learn in that pain.  And never forget the greatest lesson: God specializes in redeeming our pain.

These are in no particular order — another thing I have learned in middle-age — if it pops into your head, write it down because you will definitely forget it later.

All kidding aside, I wouldn’t trade places with anyone.  Our lives are a gift from God; an opportunity to be grasped and fulfilled so that we don’t wake up one day realizing what we’ve missed.

Love well.

Love often.

What He puts in your hand, steward with gentleness and kindness, because these moments?

They won’t last forever.