Some days I have to take a break from social media.

The news, the grapevine, the problems, and the constant opinions of others agitates me.  A full diet of social media is information overload and emotions overwhelmed and can leave one vacillating between guilt, anger, and fear with the simple scroll of the mouse.

As a mom, I am thinking of all the things I need to teach my girls about life in the midst of this chaos so they can navigate it successfully.  I have two daughters.  My oldest is seventeen and ready to launch into college next year; the other is ten, and preparing to be launched into puberty.

Both of these events grip my heart with fear.

I want to prepare them for the roadblocks, stumbling blocks, and block heads that they will run across as young women.  So I’ve jotted down a few things (in no particular order) that I think are important for all of our daughters to know about living with purpose and principle.

• Find your voice. Just because you are a girl and just because I taught you manners, doesn’t mean you are a doormat.  I encourage you to find your voice quickly in this world.  Make it a voice of compassion, a voice for justice, and a voice that learns the power of the word: “No.”  Let your “no” be as powerful as your “yes,” so boundaries and self-discipline can propel you in life.  Learn the art of timing your voice so others hunger for what you have to say.  Let love and kindness be a necklace around your neck but let your voice always stand for truth. It may be just the voice the world needs to hear to remember why all of us are here anyway.
• You can do a lot of things, but that doesn’t mean you should. We live in a world filled with both godly pleasures and toxic pleasures.  Choose pleasure wisely.  If you choose the path of narcissistic pleasure, you will eat the fruit of a self-absorbed world. It is a world filled with meaninglessness and boredom.  The world has enough selfish people.  Be the rare gem that knows the difference between can and should.  Live your life always with the end in mind.
• If a boy crosses the line, deliver a “super slap.” Yes, you heard right.  Your father taught you those self-defense techniques for a reason.  If you feel bad doing it, then call me.  I won’t feel bad.  Set boundaries and keep them. Any young man who doesn’t respect your boundaries, doesn’t respect you.  If needed, picture yourself living life joined to that foolish, boundary-breaker boy and you will dump him quickly.
• Stop with the prejudices against your body. Make peace with your body so you can be comfortable in your skin.  There will always be someone more beautiful, more intelligent, or better at something than you.  But that’s not the point.  The point is there can only be one you.  If you spend your time trying to be like someone else or look like someone else, you’ve wasted your time.  Remember: if both of you are the same, one of you is unnecessary.  We need you in this world so become comfortable  with yourself.
• Don’t give yourself away cheaply. You are a prize.  But it’s not enough to say it; you must act like it, too.  You’ve been redeemed at the highest price possible so remember who you represent. And make sure that boy remembers it as well.  If you don’t see yourself in that light, neither will he.
• If that boy breaks your heart, hold your head high. Your value can never be defined by a boy anyway, no matter how wonderful he seems.  He doesn’t have the power to give you your value.  You were made and redeemed with an infinite value by your Creator.  You were made to know God and make Him known.  No man can meet your deepest needs, only God can do that. A boy who can’t care for your heart like Jesus, is no boy for you.  Ditch him like a bad habit.
• Guard your heart. Whatever holds your affections, holds power over your decisions. There will be many who will scoff and sneer when you choose the high road, especially when it comes to your morality.  Choose it anyway.  The best company is found on the high road.  The low road is overcrowded with the foolish, the cowardly, and the miserable.
• All people are valuable, but all ideas are not.  Jesus said we are to love our enemies. We live in an angry world where haters hate and kindness is too often absent from the dialogue of ideas.  Regardless, treat all people as you would want to be treated and remember that a gentle answer turns away anger.  Let them be angry, if they choose, but you were called to love even the undeserving–especially the undeserving.  Jesus said that this sets you apart and makes you shine like the daughter of God you are.
• Hormones happen. No matter how well you have it “together”, you will have days where you feel as though you are emotionally melting. Welcome to the wonderful world of hormones!  When the hormones become too much, give yourself permission to hide away with a large dose of chocolate, praying to Jesus until those strong urges to hurt the people around you pass. And for heaven and earth’s sake, stay out of Walmart on those days.  It’s just tempting fate.
• Redefine girl school. It makes me sad that my gender is notorious for being catty, mean-spirited, and manipulative—especially to each other. Realize you have a great power in your femininity that can be used to influence the world and make it a better place or it can be corrupted to make the world around you miserable.  Redefine the power and beauty of what it means to be a girl and what it means to live in a sisterhood of women.  Fight like a girl.  Run like a girl.  Cry like a girl. Overcome like a girl.  Never be ashamed of who God made you to be and always, always make room in your life for your sister.  You will need each other on the hard days.
• Look for love in the right place. The gospel is the greatest love story of all time.  Find your peace in that love with Jesus and you’ll have peace in the rest of your loves.  You were created, pursued, and redeemed from brokenness to become something beautiful.  Live up to that beautiful redemption.
• Forgive my tears when you drive away. I know you’ve reassured me over and over that you will be fine as you grow and leave me. But I’ll miss you when you aren’t here and letting go is difficult.  I let you go because I love you and my tears represent years of the love and laughter we’ve known.
• Take care of me when I am old. Please don’t leave me with your brothers.  Realize that unless they marry well, there is no way they will know how to do my hair or make me look beautiful.  I can visit them from time to time, but a woman always wants to feel beautiful, even when she is old, and so I need you to make sure that happens.

There you have it.  I can’t possibly predict what the world will be like when you are my age.  I don’t know what trials, troubles, or tragedies you may face but I pray you will always see the hope and find the promise in every situation that Jesus puts in front of you.

Make this world more beautiful because you’ve been here.

Make every person glad they’ve met you.

And make sure you always care for each other like true sisters should.